Bill’s eyes well up with tears whenever he thinks about these past four months (January 1 – April). He said last night, “I know I’ve said it already, but again, I don’t know what I would have done had it not been for you these past four months.” Bill is not an emotional guy. In fact, he fights his emotions like his dad did. And it has not served him well. He knows his dad ended up with health problems because he bottled them up inside. But he’s working on it. “We are all works in progress!”

Let’s start with the positive ending to this miraculous journey. Note, his destination for healing was at the waters edge! Anyway, we KNOW God orchestrated our journey looking for a “cure” for his problem. He developed obstructed bladder outlet. We believe it was divine intervention that brought Bill to the Medical Doctor (M.D.) at Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, Florida, he needed “for such a time as this.” The M.D. was able to guarantee Bill he could “cure” his condition. And cure it he did. Bill just finished his mandatory four week recovery – of no lifting anything over 10 pounds for a month. No exercise, just mild walking. Since December 2016, Bill had been on a wonderful work out regimen so we could optimize our time and lives for our grandsons!

Now a little background to bring us to this miracle. Bill’s only real health issue until December 2016, was suffering from benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) — also called prostate gland enlargement. It had been going on for at least 20 years. It’s not an every day topic for men to talk about. I have a theory: For us women, we start talking about our “curse” when we are as young as 12 or so. And it consumes our lives until we hit menopause. We learn to be in “touch” with our bodies and learn when an ache or pain is not normal and what is just that time of the month. As we age, talk about hormones, then change of life, etc. Men on the other hand, have no idea what is “lurking” out there – and usually not just prostate issues. Bill said this is probably why women generally outlive men! So they don’t get in-tune to their bodies until they are too old to figure out what is happening.  And it happens to most men as noted from the below quotes:

BPH is a common condition as men get older. An enlarged prostate gland can cause uncomfortable urinary symptoms, such as blocking the flow of urine out of the bladder. It can also cause bladder, urinary tract or kidney problems.

Risk factors

Risk factors for prostate gland enlargement include:

• Aging. Prostate gland enlargement rarely causes signs and symptoms in men younger than age 40. About one-third of men experience moderate to severe symptoms by age 60, and about half do so by age 80.
• Family history. Having a blood relative, such as a father or a brother, with prostate problems means you’re more likely to have problems.
• Diabetes and heart disease. Studies show that diabetes, as well as heart disease and use of beta blockers, might increase the risk of BPH.
• Lifestyle. Obesity increases the risk of BPH, while exercise can lower your risk.

(From Mayo Clinic website)

Bill didn’t really fit into any of the risk factors – except his started to grow earlier than most men. He was in his mid 40s when he had to start taking medication. He was never considered overweight, no family history, no diabetes or heart disease, until diagnosed in that milestone date in December 2016.  (It was written about extensively starting here.) BTW, he believes he has reversed his heart disease as he is no longer on any heart medication and he passes all yearly EKG/cardio tests with flying colors.

Finally, after about 20 years of medication, he had a new urologist who asked him if anyone ever talked to him about surgery. “Wouldn’t you like to get off the medication?” SURE! But Bill took a whole year to research it and decide. He had the outpatient surgical procedure (called Urolift) in October 2018 – a procedure that meant he could get off the medication. And that is always a good thing, right?

January 1, 2020 No. The unthinkable eventually happened. One of Bill’s ears began hearing a LOUD whistling noise – and wouldn’t stop. This had started happening for the past month or so, but only after exposure to loud noises. But this morning, it woke him up! I said we best go to an Urgent care and see what’s going on to head it off. He was so miserable. He has suffered from tinninitis for years – a dull ringing from NOT wearing ear protection while using  loud equipment. (MEN – take heed, if you don’t wear ear protection in your younger years while doing loud things like riding lawn mowers, motorcycles, listening to loud music, working in industrial settings, one day your ears will not only start the VERY annoying ringing, but you will need hearing aids at some point. Bill is still resisting them but it may happen sooner rather than later.)

Sorry, Bill and I have a tendency to get on our soap box when we think we can save someone else from the DUMB mistakes we have made in life. As it turned out Bill had a sinus infection – which happens a lot when we are in Virginia. We joke he is allergic to the state. That’s another long story I need to blog about….Anyway, the doctor put him on an antibiotic, suggested daily using Flonase and Muscinex. So off to the pharmacy we went and stocked up.

January 3, 2020 Bill and I headed down to Newport News to be with mom again. She was released from the hospital on this date and moved into a Rehabilitation Center. I wanted to be there to help get her set up as well as spend more time with her and my sister, Marsha.  Mom’s spirits were good and she was determined to get her strength back. Her mind is still so sharp and she amazed EVERYONE there that she was 96 years old. I felt like she was in good hands, so we headed home on January 5, 2020. I had hoped to be able to stay until January 9 – when Mom was scheduled to meet with the oncologist. But Bill was starting to have some new symptoms and felt he needed to be home.

Sometime during this week, Bill was convinced he had ingested something that was causing him bladder problems. We went over everything he had eaten in the past week. He hadn’t eaten anything new. Then I noticed the Muscinex box sitting close by for his daily does. I grabbed it and read the “caution” – DO NOT TAKE IF YOU HAVE BPH. Oh NOOOO. You are kidding? A doctor prescribed this when his medical history was on file? And then I had the Pharmacist help me pick the best one for him as there are so many versions. Certainly you’d think she knew their client – she just filled his anti-biotic and she had to see he was well into his 60s. She should have question it. NOPE. And there in began a faster spiral downhill.

Bill’s brother and sister-in-law are nurses. David is Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist and his wife, an RN, both work in an outpatient surgical center. They are our go-tos for any health concerns. Oh we are so blessed. We touched base with them. Bill was in pain – so they suggested taking Tylenol. He did and that helped. But then he had problems sleeping.  We had Tylenol PM on hand. Why not? But then, after a few good nights sleep, he was now more miserable. I finally looked at the caution on the packing and guess what? DO NOT TAKE IF YOU HAVE BPH. The ingredients we discovered are his new culprits – anti-histamines and decongestants.

January 17, 2020  Bill finally HAD to see a urologist. We also did not plan to find a local one as we loved the one he had in Fredericksburg. Especially, since he surgically implanted the Urolift. But now Bill was in crisis mode. They “squeezed him in” and the  doctor was basically able to prescribe a medication to ease his symptoms. They scheduled him for a cystoscopy on February 4 to “see” what the actual problem might be. One of the worst things a man has to endure. I could compare it to what women endure, pap smears for 30 to 40 years and that may be the equivalent of just one cystoscopy! This was going to be Bill’s fourth one in about 10 years.

January 27, 2020 It seemed Bill’s health was a little better. But by 9:00 pm, he was so unbearably miserable.  I don’t think I had mentioned, he hadn’t been able to sleep more than 3 or 4 hours a night ALL MONTH. He was dead man walking. But this night, he KNEW something was seriously wrong. I took him to the local Emergency Room. The GREAT news was there was hardly anyone else there. The nurses were GREAT and the doctor was beyond the BEST! It was a simple problem, Bill had a UTI (Urinary Tract Infection). This is somewhat a common issue with BPH. Bill actually slept a little better but it was recommended to see his urologist in two days for follow up.

January 29, 2020 Bill was again “squeezed” in to see his new urologist. We were so impressed with him and the practice. The final lab result was in and it was a more serious bacterial infection and needed a stronger antibiotic. Bill then complained about how little sleep he had been getting on all month (up every hour or two with frequent urination issues). The doctor offered to put a catheter in which would help him. Bill said “no way.” He had no idea how that could have helped to hold him over until the February 4th date for the cystoscopy. BUT he was in so much pain, he didn’t want anything invasive and in fact, doubted he could do the cystoscopy at this point. It was not the most pleasant appointment but we still really liked the doctor. He was so patient with a very wounded and hurting man.

January 31, 2020  I was walking home from our neighborhood gym around 8:45 am. Bill called me in agony! He said something was terribly wrong. He needed help! I called 911 and ran the rest of the way home. The ambulance arrived within 5 minutes.  Long story short after alone ride to an Emergency Room near Murills Inlet – about a 30 minute ride that day – during rush hour. The other ER was only five minutes away but they were diverted due to how full it was. After nearly a month of issues, Bill’s bladder completely shut down. He HAD to have a catheter installed. They called the one he was given a “leg bag.” It was strapped to his leg and was the most miserable situation he could never imagine. And thus the tears as he recalls the unknown journey he was on.

February 1, 2020 What a way to celebrate our one year anniversary in our new home! We were back in the closest ER. Something was wrong with the Catheter – we learned it was a little “maintenance” issue. It only needed flushing but we weren’t “warned” it would be needed. The RN tried to give us some “patient training” but neither of us could “grasp” the magnitude of what a burden a catheter is.

I did as much research as I could and finally found a “help line.” The website talked about how catheters are put in without patient education nor alternatives. I called it regularly – but there was never an answer. I even had it on speed dial. It was staffed by MDs. Then more research-but no answers. It looks like they need educational and support groups for people suddenly living with a catheter. I finally found a FaceBook page that helped a little. Everyone has such a sad story. It actually helped Bill to know he was not alone – but there didn’t seem to be any solutions for him.

February 4, 2020 Bill had the cystoscopy. The urologist learned his prostate had grown from 50 grams to 84 grams. Normally they are anywhere from 7 to 16 grams. It was measured in October 2018 for the Urolift.  This was a new procedure for BPH that “promised” to eliminate the need for medication. Bill took a whole year to research and think about it before he decided to opt for outpatient procedure. The side effects of any medication were hardly worth it when offered a chance to get off.

Bill was now living such a healthy lifestyle, he felt a little hampered because of medication (Finasteride). Our theory became that all the antihistamines and decongestants caused a growth spurt coupled with him getting dehydrated over a few days. He was just too sick to care about fluids. (p.s. No MD could ever explain why his prostate grew so fast in such a short time.

So now what??? The urologist could offer two solutions here in Myrtle Beach: A TURP or Rezūm.

Transurethral resection of the prostate (TURP) is a surgery used to treat urinary problems that are caused by an enlarged prostate.” Click here for more info.

OR

Rezūm nights without bathroom breaks. Rezūm Water Vapor Therapy is a natural alternative to surgery. It treats the cause of your BPH, so you can get back to your life.” Click here for more info.

The TURP is considered the “gold standard.” If you know anything about prostate surgery, you may know that the TURP pretty much ends one of the best things about manhood, if you know what I mean. Once the MD explained about the Rezūm, we were encouraged. But he said, take your time. Think it over and do your own research. Then let us know your choice. We will have to run it through your insurance for pre-approval – code word, it will take time! I wanted to say, sign us up – but Bill is the cautious one. To cut to the chase, I called the next day and said go ahead and what’s the soonest he can get it done. The catheter had destroyed Bill’s quality of life! Can you believe, it was going to be six weeks – March 20! That seemed like an eternity….

February 5, 2020 Back to the ER! He said something was wrong. As bad as the catheter had been, it was now even more miserable. After lots of tests, etc., he had yet another UTI. But the only relief they could also offer was to remove the catheter and put another one in. We went back the the ER that was far away because Bill preferred their catheter bags. Yes, there are differences in them.

I am usually the researcher Bill DID his own research for a “cure.” He was so depressed at the thought he had to have it for six more weeks. He had to figure his future out. ALL HE KNEW was he wanted to get rid of the catheter. Bill was now a slave to the house. He had to empty his leg bag every few hours. He couldn’t exercise. He couldn’t do yard work. BUT he could at least sleep!!! That was the only good side effect of the catheter – no more waking every hour or two to use the bathroom. But he was turning into a slug – he could just literally “lounge” around the house. When he did complain to the MD, the doctor got a bit frustrated with him and said he lots of men learn to live with them in fact, we could easily go out to eat! HA, the doctor was talking to the wrong couple – we do EVERYTHING we can to not eat out. Bill was a germaphobe before we all had to adapt to the Coronavirus! And one of the things he can’t trust is how other people’s hand washing habits that prepare the food….I digress….

Bill finally realized he needed to figure it out his best options. He found a few Urology Conventions where doctors gave presentations on the different surgical options and what and their research reflected.  After hours of listening, he learned what he wanted was the Holmium laser prostate surgery:

Which is a minimally invasive treatment for an enlarged prostate. Also called holmium laser enucleation of the prostate (HoLEP), the procedure uses a laser to remove tissue that is blocking urine flow through the prostate. A separate instrument is then used to cut the prostate tissue into easily removable fragments….

….As with other types of prostate laser surgery, HoLEP can offer faster recovery and symptom relief compared with traditional prostate surgery. Rarely, re-treatment with HoLEP may be needed for urinary symptoms.” Click here for more information.

What Bill really liked about the Urologist who gave the presentation on the HoLEP was that the MD said, “It’s really good for my patients.” Now we had to find out where they do the HoLEP procedure. We called all over the US to see where we could be seen the soonest. Again, long story short, we heard the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville was one such place. Bill has an affinity for Jacksonville – it was where he lived before we married – and the place he had hoped we would live after we married. If you followed our RV travels, you know we went there at least once or twice a year. The only place we visited more was Myrtle Beach!

February 24, 2020 We felt the clock ticking. Twenty days had passed and less than a month for the Rezūm. Bill was sort of on-board but there was just something that made him hesitant. He didn’t like the percentage of “re-treatment options.” We say his Urolift failed, but the name the urology profession calls it is “re-treatment.” And now Bill was laser-focused on those percentages.  On this date, we convinced his Urologist to let him have the catheter removed to see if the prostrate had “shrunk” enough for him to live without a catheter. He had been off all antihistamines and decongestants for a month. We had prayed and hoped, prayed and hoped….But the “test” failed. He could not urinate on his own. So back in the catheter went. While we have loved this practice, this was a VERY bad experience. Have you ever seen the Seinfeld TV show where Elaine was branded “difficult?” We’d rather not share much more at this point except to say, we think the nurse saw that word in Bill’s medical record. 😢

We came home discouraged. But we found an MD in Oklahoma who could do the procedure in two weeks. BUT the thought of flying out there, flying back, ugh. What if there were issues? We just weren’t comfortable with the distance. We found another doctor at the University of North Carolina who could do a different and even less invasive procedure, but its success rate was still virtually unknown. Tick tock tick tok….then the phone rang. We had asked the Urology office to fax the information the Mayo Clinic needed the week before. We were told we would hear back from them within days. I called them every day to see if they received the fax. I was told we’d hear from them soon. We pretty much gave up…and then….the phone finally rang.  We were collapsing from exhaustion and Bill didn’t want to talk, until I said, “It’s the Mayo Clinic!” Thank you Jesus!!! Just in the nick of time.

YES, after a brief interview coupled with the medical records, they said he was a good candidate. Could we be there on Wednesday??? And the soonest they could do the procedure was March 25. Well, it was a week later than the Rezūm, BUT it was THE procedure he wanted.

February 26, 2020 We got up early and headed to Jacksonville for the actual consultation and exam. His appointment was at 3:00 pm. According to WAZE GPS, it was a six hour drive. We would leave very early and would arrive at Mayo Clinic before his 3 pm appointment. Oh the anxiety on the trip. It’s so hard to sit in a car for 6 let alone 8 hour with a catheter. It’s just flat out difficult to sit comfortably with that blasted thing on according to Bill.

Divine intervention, we arrived at the Mayo Clinic just in time!  We immediately were met with peace and tranquility because EVERYONE was so nice and helpful. We can’t say enough nice things about the ENTIRE Mayo Clinic operation. Everything went smoothly. And the MD was AMAZING. He said he could “guarantee” he’d get rid of the catheter. Music to Bill’s ears. We were asked if we could stay over one more day, then they could do all the pre-op testing.  We wouldn’t have to return a day early before the actual surgery. And even better, if they had a cancellation, we could come earlier than March 25, 2020. The scheduler said it only happened twice in the few years she had been scheduling – but we said we believed in miracles! And oh how we were praying for one or two….

February 27, 2020. The next morning, we were back at the Mayo Clinic at 8:55 am.  The people were all first class – we felt like we were the only people in the world that mattered. We met with so many different nurses and staff members. We’ve never seen such GREAT caring and consistency. They have everything set up for the ease of the patients. This was our schedule for this day:

8:55 am Electrocardiogram Testing
9:15 am Pre-operative Visit
10:20 am Blood test
10:45 am Assisted Urine Collection

We went into the cafeteria on a bit of a break to accommodate the “Assisted Urine Collection.” It actually worked out perfectly as was time for Bill to take the “pee” test – to get a pure urine sample. The catheter bag was drained and plugged. He needed to drink about 16 ounces of water over an hour. Timing was everything.

While we were settling in, we got a phone call. Could we come at 1:05 pm today instead at 8:25 am the next day for the Preoperative exam? WOW, are you kidding? More divine intervention! This was great. It would save us one more night of high “rent.”

February 28, 2020  We were finally feeling rested and were thanking God for Mayo Clinic. It was virtually a painless process – except the drive there! The trip home was almost ideal. Bill was so desperate to get the surgery as soon as possible, we agreed to be put on a standby list. IF they had a cancellation, we could be there the next day. We were only six hours away….

March 16, 2020 The Mayo Clinic called and had an opening for this Friday, March 20, could we be there? ABSOLUTELY! FYI, we were told it was RARE to have such an opening, but it was because of the Coronavirus. The doctor was to be at an Urology convention that week, but it was cancelled. When the call came in, because COVID was now closing medical services down, I was expecting a “cancellation call! Thank you Jesus!!!

March 19, 2020 We drove to Jacksonville Beach, Florida. We breezed there in six hours. Smooth as silk trip heading southbound. But oh, the northbound traffic was like a parking lot. We could see long lines trying to use the rest stops. It was a mess. Vacationers and snow birds were fleeing Florida due to the coronavirus. Life was changing rapidly.

March 20, 2020 It’s the day of Surgery with an overnight stay. Bill is like most men. They don’t handle health care issues very well. The one good thing initially, I was told I would be able to spend the night with Bill. This procedure was actually terrifying to him. He’s only been in the hospital over night one other time – a gall bladder attack that they thought was a heart attack. He was like a little boy there….he was so dependent on me. Well, now we are back to the issues with the coronavirus. I couldn’t be with him and he would be “strapped” in his bed for 24 hours after the surgery. They were going to have to “flush” him full of IV antibiotics and fluids with a catheter, until the next morning. Would he survive without me?

At least I was able to wait for Bill’s procedure in the hospital surgical center waiting room. I was so thankful for that but only one person per surgical patient. We were there at 7:00 am and I was able to kiss him goodbye at 7:03 – they were ready for him. The procedure would be about 90 minutes long. I was sent text messages as to his status. He was taken to the Operating Room at 9:19 am. Poor guy had to wait by himself for over two hours! Oh my faith is being tested. I was in constant communication with Bill’s brother, wife and our daughter. That helped my comfort level! But what if….I couldn’t think the unthinkable but what if….

The procedure began at 9:42 am. The next text at 11:06 am said the procedure was coming to an end. Then the MD came out to talk to me. The procedure went very well! He expected Bill to be released the next day, catheter free by around 12:00 noon! I began praising God. But I wouldn’t  leave until I knew he is in his room.

Next text, 12:57 pm, they transported him to his room. My sister in law replied, “Should be sleepy for a few more hours. Should be trying to rest extra today. Because there is no big incisions or dressings it’s easy to be deceived into thinking this was minor!” She added, he will be sleepy most of the day.

I was finally able to relax so I leave shortly after this. I needed to go shopping to get the ingrediates to make homemade chicken noodle soup for him to start his healing journey.

I couldn’t wait any longer, I called to check on Bill at 3:30. I woke him up. He said he was fine, but so sleepy. He ordered chicken noodle soup for lunch. All he had to do was call down to the kitchen to place an order for whatever he wanted! It was good but he was so groggy. We only chatted a few minutes. I asked him to call me the next time he was awake.

He called me at 7:06 pm. We talked for about 25 minutes. He had slept through dinner. Oh no, he needed me with him. He had fasted for 24 hours virtually, then just had a bowl of chicken noodle soup? He needed nourishment. The nurse felt badly they let him sleep through dinner. She looked around, could only find pastries and other processed foods he won’t eat. He assured me he was OK. Otherwise, he recounted what he remembered. He was most impressed with everything, other than missing dinner!

March 21, 2020 I made my phone call to the nurses station to check on him at 5:04 am. He was stabilized and had slept really well. That was a relief.

He called with positive updates on his progress: 8:16 am, the catheter was out! We were now in constant contact.He didn’t feel a thing. They said if he could urinate a certain amount by 11:00, he could be out by noon. Next calls he gave me the details of his progress: 9:09, 9:39, 11:00. He was on track to get out by noon!!!

Of course, getting discharged is never timely, even in this wonderful hospital. He was just waiting for them to finish unhooking him and then he had to get dressed. I said he might as well order lunch! He was so glad he did as he didn’t get out until 2:30 pm.

We made it back to Myrtle Beach – Bill drove the entire way, so GRATEFUL to NOT have a catheter.

For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations. Psalm 100:5